Saturday, October 17, 2009

Things in the woods

Most of our searches include woods and parks. Paths not often traveled. Secluded areas in which others could hide. Nesta and I have yet to stumble upon a victim but have however tripped over many odd treasures:
Tons of beer bottles and cans. Never the good stuff. It seems that those that drink in the woods prefer Natty Light and forget to bring their recycling container to the party.
Lots of underwear. Yes. Underpants. Only Men's undies though. I have encountered so many pairs of discarded undies that I'm starting to wonder how many people started the day off with underpants and ended the day commando. Gentlemen-What kind of scenario includes taking your underpants off in the woods and not putting them back on? Are they an offering to the woodland creatures? A personal statement of freedom?
Prescription medicine. Specifically antipsychotic drugs. Major stuff. Somehow the patients at Norristown must be escaping and ditching their meds (and underpants) in the woods. Baffles me.
Porn. Yup. Several titles in fact. Maybe the viewer just didn't like the acting.
All of these "teasures" together paint a rather illicit picture of the woods in Eastern PA. No wonder the deer stare at humans with wide eyes.
Let's all hope that if an alien culture ever lands on Earth- they don't start in the woods.

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